Family First & Creating Family Mottos
Family First: A Rule We Live By
Something happens to you after kids. You don’t get to be selfish anymore. You’ve got to step up.
In the haze that followed the birth of our first, my husband and I needed something to ground us to our new reality. There were a thousand new decisions pulling us in a thousand new directions.
Family First was born. I can’t remember who said it first (It was probably my husband, he has a way with words). But it became both our motto and our mantra. Whenever a hard decision came upon us, we asked Is this putting Family First?
I say this as if it magically fixed our problems. It didn’t. Indeed, I continued to ignore the call of Family First far longer than I should. I knew my kids were struggling in daycare. I knew I was struggling without them. None of us were thriving.
When the world stopped and my kids came home, I knew… I just knew that the life we were living wasn’t Family First. I was healed by the presence of my children and I know they were healed by being home. They were peaceful, happy, content. Words I would never use to describe them in the before times.
But still I didn’t heed the call. They went back to school. And we felt broken once again. But this time I listened. I pulled them out 3 months later and they've never gone back. It took me 3 more years to quit my job.
So is Family First something I live by? I guess it's more like an ideal that everyday I get closer to living up to.
How to Chose a Family Motto
Last week, we spoke about the importance of education in building the character of our children and grandchildren. I encouraged you to write down your family values so they’d be front and center as you read to your children. I received several messages wanting to go deeper on how to decide on your family values. So I wanted to further illustrate one of mine (above) and how to decide on your values as a family.
Gather Family Input: There is no wrong way to do this but the more you encourage your kids to be involved, the more active role they will take in living these values.
Reflect on Family Values: Reflect on the values that are important to your family. Consider things like honesty, perseverance, compassion, unity, resilience, or kindness. But don’t be afraid to go out of the box. What’s unique to YOUR family.
Seek Inspiration: Draw inspiration from sources such as literature or quotes. My family has white board on our refrigerator where we write down quotes that struck us in the past week. Family values may stay the same but it’s worth updating and revisiting regularly. Don’t hesitate to consider famous mottos, proverbs, or sayings that align with your family's values and ethos. You can adapt or modify existing phrases to fit your family's unique identity.
Discuss and Refine: Present the draft mottos to your family for discussion and feedback. Encourage open dialogue and constructive criticism. Discuss the meaning and implications of each potential motto and how it aligns with your family's values and goals.
Finalize and Display: Once a family motto has been selected, finalize the wording and design. Consider creating a visual representation of the motto, such as a plaque, banner, or artwork, to display prominently in your home. Make it a visible reminder of your family's shared values and aspirations. You don’t have to do this. But many people find having the constant reminder center stage useful and helpful. I mentioned my brother does this with his family and his kids can recite their values.
Live the Motto: Embrace your family motto as a guiding principle in your daily lives. Encourage each family member to embody the values and ideals expressed in the motto through their actions, decisions, and interactions with others. Let the motto inspire unity, purpose, and strength within your family.
What are your family values?
~With love, Claire Honeycutt (aka HippyMomPhD)
Consider supporting ClarifiEd. We are supported 100% by you - not ads, not grants - just you♥️
